(In case this is tl;dr territory, I’m taking a full break from social media outside of maybe checking dms once a day if I remember and posting instagram reels of the podcast if I remember. I’m doing this for my health. Find me at places at https://linktr.ee/nocartridge)
There’s been an unholy amount of ink spilled on burnout in high-achieving kids or adults in college or PhD students or whatever, so don’t worry I don’t intend to add to that river of grime. No, what I’m up to is a brief little diary entry of sorts breaking down where I’m at with regards to burnout, a surprisingly persistent little demon I can’t get off my back.
I don’t mean to present myself as some sort of hardworking savant, since if anything my lack of work ethic is what’s caused a lot of my problems. I flit from object of study to object of study, my eyes too big for my stomach and half finished ideas littered along the way. It’s something that’s been hard to see in my kids, but something they come by honestly and will do better with than their old man, as is tradition.
But this is something I’ve been able to stomach and manage for a while now — my fight or flight is always on, I’ve been trained by academia to always be hustling constantly, and there’s never a moment in the day I’m not thinking about what I could be doing to be a better father, husband, podcaster, writer, editor, etc. And for the most part that’s fine! But recently I’ve been starting to feel physical symptoms of my anxiety, and that scares me. Anxiety I can live with, have lived with for the better part of 20 years. Depression, its awkward cousin, too. But the physical effects scare me and are making me realize I need to change something.
That something can’t be the podcast — I like No Cartridge too much and, as it is always run at a loss, I simply don’t have the option to pull up stakes and abandon it even if I wanted to. It won’t be my day job and it won’t be my kids or wife either; I also genuinely enjoy those too much too. So it has to be social media, which feeds the podcast and which will be hard to leave! But which is maybe important to leave.
The upshot here is I’ll be back probably by baseball season, if the physical symptoms subside. I’ll also be able to contact folks on twitter and bluesky if needed and will promote as necessary. But that’s all going to be catch as catch can until I feel healthy again. I don’t know how unique or not unique this feeling of physical burnout is, but I know, for me, it’s a deeply troubling thing, and I’m going to do something for myself for the first time in, well, a hell of a long time.
In lieu of social media, I’ll be trying to write here once a day. I’ll fail at that some days, but it’s more about the attempt. And no, they won’t be navel gazey things like this, they’ll be real articles and ideas. Writing makes me feel fed, and I’d like to see how a steady diet of that, exercise, and no social media treats me. Less social media. Let’s try to be honest, ha.
There will also be a linktree attached to this post and available at my twitter and bluesky so people can follow me while I’m less visible. This isn’t a call for money — though certainly if you have some lying around, please, do get in touch! — nor is it a promise that any of my various spaces will be productive or busy. This is a way for me to remove one looming obligation category to see if it helps me. I’m not dropping friends or conversations, I’m not off the map. I’m just trying to refocus.
Thanks for understanding, and feel free to reach out whereever, but especially feel free to follow here, as this will be the place for the time being, and follow, subscribe and review No Cartridge Audio. Thanks for everything, space cowboy.
-Trev (https://linktr.ee/nocartridge)